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Archive for the ‘culture/society’ Category

Portrait of a True Visionary: Bill O’Reilly

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Once every hundred years or so a true visionary comes along, from seemingly out of nowhere, and makes such an impact on the world that his influence will be felt until the end of time. A man like this drops knowledge on the human collective on such a consistent basis that all the world’s leaders don’t know whether to fear him or to ally with him. Neurologists want to attach electrodes to his skull to map his brain activity, philosophers want to sit down and chat with him, and the common people just want to shake his hand. There only ever seems to be one true visionary like this living during any period of time, and we all know the names of such great men throughout history: Jesus of Nazareth, Mahatma Gandhi, Gautama Buddha, Albert Einstein, etc. I know it goes without saying, but the one true visionary of our time is none other than the one and only, the great, the superb, THE Bill O’Reilly.

Some of the truest visionaries to have ever lived. From left to right: Jesus of Nazareth, Gautama Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Bill O'Reilly.

It really is difficult – maybe even impossible – to accurately depict such a genius man using words alone, but I will try my hardest to do Mr. O’Reilly justice here. Oh, where to begin?

O’Reilly has an uncanny ability to emulate the most positive aspects of the visionaries before him without coming off as a cheap imitation. Actually, he usually does better at those very things that true visionaries of the past were most known for. For example, like Jesus Christ, O’Reilly has managed to garner a large cult following. But not a single one of his followers are the kind of person you wouldn’t want as a disciple. Nope, O’Reilly’s fans and followers are true Americans. There’s not a single Judas in the whole bunch.

just a few of O'Reilly's true American fans

Like Albert Einstein, O’Reilly understands the value of critical thinking. He is like a rational machine, undeterred by any fallacious arguments or misrepresented factoids. He never speaks on an issue without first examining it to the point of complete understanding. Watch as he uses irrefutable logic to DESTROY the arguments of these Satan worshippers:

Wow, why would they even try to go up against him? Did they really think they could win? Anyways, lets move on…

Bill O’Reilly not only emulates past visionaries with perfection; he also exemplifies some qualities that are his alone. For example, when he’s right about something and he knows that he’s right, he doesn’t let what other people say affect him. If some dissenter tries to trip him up, O’Reilly does not even grace their dissent by listening. He just speaks over them with the truth until they give up. Go to youtube and search “Bill O’Reilly.” Choose any video from the search results for an example of O’Reilly speaking over his guest with the truth.

I don’t know what else to say. I spent over an hour sitting here trying to come up with a good metaphor or simile, but honestly, nothing in this world can even compare to Bill O’Reilly’s true visionary status. So I’m just going to post some more of my favorite clips from the O’Reilly Factor, and let Bill himself show you how great he is.


Written by danielperry99

January 12, 2011 at 6:24 am

Hipsters – who are they?

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A girl is riding down the streets of a big city on a fixed-gear bicycle. She’s wearing a knitted wool toboggan type hat, which sits on her head in an unnatural yet aesthetic fashion. She adorns her face with way oversized thick rimmed spectacles,  and she still has gauges in her ears remaining from her punk phase in high school. She wears yoga pants underneath a pair of cut-off shorts with a shirt and jacket combo that could have only come from a thrift store.

hipster chicks love riding bicycles

She arrives at her destination, an art exhibit, where she meets up with a friend. Her friend has messy, yet again aesthetic hair, coupled with a handlebar mustache and long thick sideburns. He wears large sunglasses, even indoors, and his t-shirt is one that was only available for purchase at Aha (80’s band known for “take on me”) concerts back in the day; he probably got it at a thrift store. His pants are tight and skinny with the hem meeting just exactly at the top of his brightly colored Nike Dunks.

typical male hipster unkempt hair and silly facial hair

As the two walk into the art exhibit, they argue over who had discovered the artist first. The girl says that she had heard of him 2 years ago when he still went by his birth name – a point that the boy counters by telling his friend that she can check the date of his first blog entry about said artist if she needs proof that she wasn’t the first of them to make the discovery. They spend the rest of their time together indulging in lighthearted conversation about Nickelodean shows from the 90’s.

They part ways and the girl returns to her studio apartment to watch the new episode of Glee, while the boy goes home (not forgetting to stop at an atm to withdraw money his parent’s put in his bank account) where he immediately logs onto the internet to check for any new comments on his multiple social networking profiles.

this is a certain type of hipster known as the "attention whore" aka "faggot"

Who are these people, and why are they like this? They are hipsters, the new indie kids. Most of them were punk/emo/goth/scene kids in high school, with a significant enough portion of them having been preppy kids that became disenchanted with the “conformist” way of life. They are a relatively new alternative youth culture that first started gaining recognition sometime around 2004, but didn’t become well known until around 2008. One defining characteristic of the hipster is that they shun anything perceived to be mainstream; and with the ever increasing popularity of the hipster subculture, it’s only a matter of time before they disband entirely, or perhaps transform into some other characteristic group. What is most likely, is that the current hipsters will eventually give it up and move on to corporate normality, but not without having first planted the seed for the next alternative youth culture. After all, what are hipsters if not the half-hearted emulatory perpetuation of all the twenty-something subcultures of the past?

wow strong hat

For those of you still confused on what exactly a hipster is, I’ve made a list of some qualities that hipsters generally possess:

  • Their dress-code is like new-age bohemian mixed with post-modernism. In other words, they like to wear clothes from thrift shops or anything that is ironic. The guys often don silly facial hairstyles like handlebar mustaches.
  • They live mostly in bigger cities.
  • They are really into, or at least pretend to be really into art and social issues.
  • They tend to be very liberal.
  • They ride fixed-gear bicycles.
  • They love the internet, especially expressing themselves via the internet. By this, I mean that they love to fuck around with social networking sites like facebook and twitter, and they also like to blog.
  • They have a general air of superiority about them, often shunning music (or anything else) for being too mainstream. Their favorite type of music is the kind that nobody else has ever heard of before.
  • They do not in any way, shape, or form embrace being a hipster. In fact, 90% of them will refuse to acknowledge that they are hipsters.
  • Some say that hipsters have an affinity for Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and American Apparel clothes.
  • There seems to be a bit of a trend towards childlike innocence in hipster culture as of late. An article in Details magazine described it something like that, but I think it’s more of a nostalgia for childhood rather than actual innocence.
  • Pseudointellectualism, or in some cases actual intellectualism, is a major defining trait. (just a side note – pseudointellectualism is still better than a lack of any desire for intelligence)

hipsters in their natural urban habitat

By no means is this post meant to be a shit talk on hipsters. In fact, I actually meet more than a couple of the qualifications myself. I realize that most hipsters are individuals that just happen to share many similarities with their peers due to similar upbringings. But just like almost everyone else in the world, they fit neatly into a definable group, no matter how stereotypical it is.

*Disclaimer – I live in a small town in the South. I’ve seen a handful of hipsters, but only interacted with maybe 2 or 3.

Written by danielperry99

January 3, 2011 at 6:03 am